Colorado Life Coach: My Left BLINKBLINKBLINKer

mustang blinker

Has your blinker ever gone haywire?

My left blinker started blinking double time about 6 weeks ago. No big deal, right?

I took it to the auto parts store and the guy even came out to check it for me. I thought my bulb might be out. That wasn’t it. Front and back left blinkers worked, just double time.

Every time I turn right…blink, blink, blink, blink…that normal rhythm I’m so used to.

Turn left? BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK! Whoa! Slow down, buddy! It’s OK, you don’t need to blow a gasket.

I think this would bug lots of people, but let me speak to those with an ear for music, momentarily. Do you feel my pain? Do you get me? It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, right?

I went to a repair shop and asked what they thought it might be. Without looking, the guy said it was a minimum of $75 and was probably something electrical going into the steering column (don’t quote me on that, cause I’m definitely NOT a car person).

Anyway, I didn’t want to pay that, or deal with it, so I decided to wait.

Turn right? Blink, blink, blink

Turn left? BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK

On and on it goes.

It doesn’t effect my safety, or how the car drives, so I just put up with it.  Anyone relate?

I’ve been working on some emotional baggage (sort of never-ending for me). A friend told me about her prayer ministry and asked if I’d like to pray with her and her partner. I did! We set it up for yesterday. I’ll write more on that awesome experience later!

We looked at some painful stuff from my past and prayed. I felt Jesus say he healed it all.

Out to my car and into the left turn lane: Blink, blink, blink, blink…are you kidding me? I burst out laughing and felt the face of God light up with a huge smile.

I’ve driven several times since then and changed lanes, just to put on my left blinker: Blink, blink, blink, blink.

Just like clockwork.

And God and I just keep laughing!

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole.

 

 

Colorado Life Coach: Stop Helping People!

Good Samaritan

Several years ago, I heard a sermon called: Get off Your Donkey.

It was a great message based on the Good Samaritan from the Bible. In the story, a man is beaten by robbers and left to die. A priest and a rabbi saw him, but passed right by on the other side of the street. Neither helped.

“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him” (Luke 10: 33-34).

It’s a great message.

Something happened inside me as I looked around the church that day. I saw young moms with small children fidgeting (the moms, not the kids). I watched people with addictions (not just alcohol and drugs) squirm. Those out of work looked mighty uncomfortable. Sometimes this is good! Sometimes we need to be called out of our comfortable lives to help other people.

This wasn’t the feeling I had that day.

I was in the middle of leading 2 groups of women through a process designed to help them heal from deep issues in their pasts. They were really struggling with things that had happened to them, how it impacted their entire lives, and how they could heal and change. They wanted to be healthy. They wanted to help others.

They couldn’t even help themselves, yet.

I hear this so often.

How many times do we try to help others when we’re a mess ourselves.

I think it happens for many reasons:

1. Guilt. I’m told to help others. What kind of a person am I if I don’t help. I’m not worth much anyway, maybe by helping others I’ll feel better.

2. Can’t say “no.” I know so many people-pleasers who fit in this category! They don’t want to help in this particular situation. It’s not even something they are good at. They just can’t say “no.” They say “yes” so the other person won’t be mad at them, so they won’t feel bad, so they’ll look good, so they’ll appear spiritual. The problem is this: They are angry about it. They don’t really want to help. They are exhausted themselves. They say “yes,” and then carry around resentment and bitterness.

3. They are in denial of their own situation. Some people are such a mess, but they don’t want to deal with it. If they stopped to deal with themselves, they wouldn’t have time or energy (for awhile) to help others. Rather than deal with themselves, they continue to “help” others.

Here’s the problem: We’re called to help others out of the overflow of our own lives, with a grateful heart.

~If we respond out of guilt, this is not the case.

~If we respond only because we can’t say “no,” this is selfish. We’re so afraid of upsetting anyone, we don’t speak truthfully. What if we said, “I can’t help you this time, ” or “I’m really not good at that,” or “Normally I’d be the first to volunteer, but I’m working on my boundaries and can’t do it this time.”

~If we respond as a way to avoid working on ourselves, we’re helping no one.

Have you ever needed good counsel from someone? Have you ever asked for help from someone, and half-way through your discussion, you realized they’re in worse shape than you are?

It is not helpful. They cannot offer what they don’t have themselves.

My suggestion? Get help for yourself first! Deal with your own stuff and get healthy. Then you’ll be able to respond to others out of love, not fear.

Sometimes we need to take time out and deal with our own issues. Then we’ll be ready to help others.

What if you’re the one who needs to be put on a donkey and nursed back to health?

The bible doesn’t say the beaten man jumped up and tried to help others. He let others help him.

I bet after he was healthy again, he helped others.

If you’d like help dealing with your own stuff, so you can finally be healthy and truly help others, click here.

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole.

Colorado Life Coach: Columbine, Aurora Theatre, Arapahoe High School

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As we drove down Dry Creek and approached University, the lump in my throat grew until I couldn’t contain the tears. We parked on Franklin and walked to the memorial. I signed the banner along with literally thousands of others. There were banners from my elementary and middle schools, from many other high schools, from churches, and even from a school in Wisconsin. The words “Pray for Claire,” formed by white cups in the chain-link fence, stopped me in my tracks. I prayed for Claire. I prayed for the students, teachers, and community.

I grew up in Littleton, Colorado.

I have friends who graduated from Columbine High School.

My kids almost went to the Batman midnight premier at the Aurora Theatre.

I graduated from Arapahoe High School in 1982.