Colorado Life Coach: Firming Up The Boundaries…Again!

Setting boundaries.

It’s exhilarating!

It’s scary!

The healthier I get, the more boundaries I find myself having to implement. Things I never thought about keep popping up, and all of a sudden, I have to think through ANOTHER area where my boundaries still stink.

I’m a Life Coach. Do you think that means I have my life all together, so I’m here to help those poor souls who are all screwed up? You’d be wrong! I AM one of those poor souls trying to get her life together. Hopefully, I’m a little farther down the road than some of my clients, or at least I’ve learned a thing or two to help them.

It’s much easier to see someone else’s issue anyway. Isn’t that always the case?

I can see when someone doesn’t want to look at their issues and constantly blames their boss, or their spouse, or their children, or the weather. It’s a little harder when I either don’t want to, or can’t see my own issue.

People have always told me I have such great insight. I’ve sat with many people in groups, bible studies, coaching sessions, or just eating lunch where someone has said, “I’ve never told anyone this before, but…”

It’s why I went back to school at age 46. I wanted to help people, but I knew if I didn’t get the education and practice, I could end up making things worse for someone. So I studied. I researched and wrote papers. I learned about all the different counseling techniques. I learned about reflective listening, and various models to help people. I used my vast experience with personal and marriage counseling as well.

I discovered Life Coaching. With my degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, I have more knowledge to help than coaches without the degree. I do have a lot of knowledge.

And I’m still me. I’m not perfect…by any means. I think I’ve disappointed a few people along the way when they discovered I was, in fact, human. Sad for them. I’ve always known it.

Sometimes things get on a roll and life moves along really well. I feel calm and confident. I can do this thing! I’m good at it. I like my job. I actually help people.

And then, I hit another area I still need to grow. It kind of stinks, but I realize that I need it to help me move to another level of health.

So here I am, setting boundaries I probably needed to set a year ago. I didn’t see the need at the time. No one was busting through my unwritten boundaries. Then I started getting more clients, and sometimes I took on clients I shouldn’t have. All of a sudden, my boundaries needed to be firmed up.

It’s hard. I like these people. They like me. I want to help them. But I’m not doing anyone any good if I don’t take care of myself in between clients. If I can’t stop thinking about their problems, they become my problems. If my time with my family or even alone keeps getting interrupted with questions and problems, I don’t get a chance to recharge.

And I allowed it.

So here I am, setting new boundaries. I know it’s for the best, but it’s still hard.

This post written by Colorado Life Coach, Carrie O’Toole.



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